California Grown.

The way I see it is like this: Life isn't something to be taken too seriously. The people we meet will change. Some with, or without us. And in the end, all that matters with what you've taken from them and what they've given to you. I'm a growing, learning, open minded individual who is more interested in the concept of being, rather than the daily flow. I love my music, my friends, and most mediums of art.

here I am, world.

Let everything happen to you: beauty and terror.
Just keep going. No feeling is final.

—Rainer Maria Rilke, The Book of Hours  (via petrichour)

(Source: liquidnight, via detailles)


am i the only one who can’t understand what ariana grande is saying without looking up lyrics

I feel sexy tonight

I feel sexy tonight

There is something calming about this stage in my life. I can honestly say that this is the first time in a long time that I don’t feel the burden of another’s feelings of me weighing me down. I’m learning to trust the timing in life. I just watched The Secret today and it mentioned that we are the sole creators of how long something takes. We determine how long something will last, how good something is, how unattainable something can be.

Maybe this is the stage where I decide what is next. To not let my dreams and my hopes die. To reflect on all these suitors and create my dream man from all the good pieces of them. To look at what I’ve done, and how I can take these half written stories and write the next chapter. I’m not afraid any more. 

I feel like this stage in my life feels a bit… dull. But then I have to look around, and realize I have a lot to be grateful for. First of all, at no point in my life do I think that my rent will be $255 (just let that sink in for a minute) ever, ever again. I have a door out my room that leads into the garden to reflect on my day and all these obstacles that I’m trying to overcome in my head so I’m not so easily agitated from the lack of instant gratification I find here. Great, you have a job here! But it sucks and you feel like throwing yourself off of something high. It makes for lots of lists being written of things to do upon getting off of work. 

I’m a little nervous of what to do come January. I have always made up some elaborate plan to do something but this time it feels different. I want to make a decision and it actually work out and be well planned, and to some where I could stay for a few years. I have this initial plan to stay in california for licensing purposes but I’m not too sure as to where I should go. I am feeling like something along the lines of Santa Cruz but I haven’t done any research or even visited enough to know if I’d want to. Anyone I share the idea with seems on board. 

After my small town costa stay I’ll pack my bags and head to NYC for design school and do hair on the side after having been an assistant in Santa Cruz. I mean, afterall—I have to stay true to my initial dream. 

I guess we’ll just see won’t we. 

Miranda, Myself, Allie, and Jazmin on my 21st Birthday night. 

Miranda, Myself, Allie, and Jazmin on my 21st Birthday night. 


you make me see in color

before it was black and white. 

you make me see in color. 

even in the blackest of nights. 

i often dreamt of the day we meet,

with obstacles of the supermarket

and hundreds of people on the street. 

and when we lay down for bed i pray you’ll never leave. 

a thousand people have laid where you are

a burden of a thought i’d hope you never receive. 

i traced your body up and down purely from memory.

i thought of the day we met

and if not where would I be?

you make me see in color

even in the blackest of nights

you make me see in color

they’ll see us from such great heights.